Maja

What were the worst sounds?

Well, the air hazard sirens, certainly. Those sirens were always at the same time of the day, around 8PM. So, you wait, and look outside. Boban and Tanja would always look outside the window when she would come over. From the Lipovačka šuma, right across from Miljakovac. Across that railway after the municipality, the PVO (counter-air defence) is located.
You could see the tomahawk missiles falling, how they're throwing those grenades. It was uncomfortable to listen to. I didn't understand what happened at first. You were young. I left the room, I've just changed your clothes, and then at 8 was the first time it exploded. I forgot the exact date. Subconsciously, but also consciously to a degree. That evening it exploded in our area, for the first time in Straževica. Straževica is that hill 500 air kilometers away from our apartment.
That sound, the first time it happened, I thought a heating plant exploded. That was troublesome. Then Branka called me and said 'Didn't I tell you they were going to bomb yesterday'. But I didn't understand, I didn't at all know what was happening because my child had just arrived to this world.

What were the calming sounds?

Well the 'Smirela' (calming sirens that symbolizes the end of air hazard) because you know that you can be still. The siren marks that, the end of the air hazard. And you're calmer as a result. But other sounds calmed me as well. The sounds on the radio were picked so skillfully. The editors of the radio, while it wasn't the regime's radio, picked good calming music. They also picked really good films that Boban could follow through with, I was a bit overwhelmed with breastfeeding. It was ambient music, like the band AIR. Mostly played by studio, but nowadays it's not like that anymore. I haven't watched their TV since I found out who the editors were now.

Was there any music that shaped this period? What did you listen to often?

No no. I made up a song on my own with which I tried to get you to fall asleep. It was a dumb song but it had to have a character with which I could calm down both you and myself. So I would be rocking you in my arms and singing 'NATO can't do anything to us, to us'.
But in that moment I couldn't think of any children songs so I made up my own which didn't have a lot to do with children. I don't like that I sang it as if it's some partisan song. I am part of the generation that didn't have a lot of options when we were young. In primary school, you were offered only socialism and leftist ideology. We were nursed with those lectures of the National Liberation fight, which I respect a lot. The whole fight against fascism. Somewhere in my consciousness that song originated from being brought up like that.

What do you think of the remaining ruins? What do you think should happen to them?

I think the same way as some people do, that it would be good for them to stay, and be some sort of remembrance for future generations who don't remember it. Like you for example do not remember it. Even 3-year-old children remember playing outside and then running home when they heard the warning sirens. That was unsettling for children. So, I think that, in the case of Generalštab, it should remain as is. It shouldn't be renovated.

What would you like people who don't know about the bombing to know?

You know what, I think they are not interested in it. It doesn't concern them. I would want them to admit the truth as it is, but their politics were that this is an undemocratic country and that it will stay that way. They can not unlearn the years and years of thinking of this part of Europe in a uniform way. So I don't have anything to say to them at all.
The people that know history, know this. And those that are fed in a similar way that we are will speak about the west as if it's the pinnacle of democracy- that's debatable. In the same way that it's debatable that everything here is bad. There are good things, as there are in every country. Innocent people exist in every country, in Iraq, in Iran, in Syria, everywhere. Big forces rule the world. But what can you say besides that Serbia was bombed unjustly.
Those that are more powerful are always going to act along with the veil of democracy. But it's not me who should be sending this message out.

What is one of your most important memories of the time?

The first one was fear. You fell asleep next to me, when they dropped the 5 ton bomb on Straževica. All of the windows opened up and thankfully, we only had old windows, the PVC that we have now would break. Thanks to the fact they were old, they didn't break, they merely flew open. The big window in the bedroom opened up and I went toward the basket in which you were sleeping. 'Where is my kid, it's not in the basket'. I was so exhausted that I didn't even realize that you feel asleep next to me (and not in the basket). You didn't even hear anything as the blanket was covering you. It echoed like the whole world fell apart. That is an intense memory.
Before the bombing I received everything from Saška. She brought the whole equipment, towels, pillows, sheets, baby onesies. You don't even know what people gave me, what kind of solidarity that was back then. Everyone who found Bebelac (baby milk formula) would come and bring it. Because I couldn't produce much milk, and then it disappeared. After two and a half months it was sour. I noticed that something wasn't to your liking. Probably due to some bitterness in the soul.